Cage The Elephant:Thank You, Happy Birthday

So I bought Cage the Elephant's new album today, thinking "Fuck yeah! These guys were awesome in their debut album". Well, I was right on one aspect. They were awesome....

These songs fit together about as well as a square into a circular hole. I was honestly taken aback by how bad most of them were. It litterally assaulted all my senses. I felt as though I had been touched by a roofie slinging date rapist, who invited you out for dinner and dancing but then took you to a run down car park and violated you against a concrete barricade covered in fresh hobo piss. The album art assulted my eyes around the time I returned to the download page thinking I had somehow got the wrong files. With all the screaming that proceeded to fill my home (His, not mine) I thought the lead singer had been taking pointers from Jonathan Davis. The bad smell might have been attributed to a burning disc had I not purchased the album from itunes. And the entire ordeal left a bitter taste in my mouth.

All in all, listening to this album was a lot like bad sex. It left me feeling drained, pissed off, used, and a little guilty, like I had just went home with the fat chick at the party after an entire 26oz of Smirnoff Blue Label.

If you're like me, and discovered this band through their stellar opening song used in the intro to Borderlands, I can almost guarantee you will hate all but 4 songs on this album. You won't like the 4 songs either, you'll merely be able to tolerate them, as though someone had been stabbing you in the eye with a piece of splintered wood soaked in lemon juice and vindaloo sauce, then switched to something slightly more bearable, like a rusty icepick...