It's so cold you could catch your death
A cop sold me some crystal meth
It's a Merry Fucking Christmas
Everything's so Chritmassy
The streets are twinkling with frozen pee
My priest just sat on santa's knee
It's a Merry Fucking Christmas
All the kids go to bed each night to dream what santa brings 'em (brings 'em)
Unless they're jewish or muslim or some other gyp religion
Crappy toys flying off the shelves
Midgets dressed up to look like elves
Spread good cheer or burn in hell
It's a Merry Fucking Christmas
All the kids go to bed each night to dream what santa brings 'em
Unless they're jewish or muslim or some other gyp religion
Cracklin' fires to keep me warm
And my collection of asian porn
Cradle my bells and work my horn
It's a keep on truckin', last year suckin', midget chuckin', slap the puckin', how much wood could a wood chuck chuckin', Merry Fucking Christmas
Oh Denis Leary, you're twice as cynical on Christmas so I can get away with only being half as cynical.
There's a big feast in a few hours, I've got a brand new iPod touch in my hands, a new processor and video card in my computer, and with any luck, I'll be hitting something six years younger than me tonight, and I'm not talking about the bottle of Canadian Club I got in my stocking...
Merry Fucking Christmas Everyone!
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